when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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