I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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