i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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