i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
