You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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