how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
