do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
