Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i am craving dick and cupcakes
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
