God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
