Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
