ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
