Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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