Dual....:-)
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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