Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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