take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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