? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
