Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
