got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
