Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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