You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
