I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
