In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize