So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
