Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My vagina just clenched in fear
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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