Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
