I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
