Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
