thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
