is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
