Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
