why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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