you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
