he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
