come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
