You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
