At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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