Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize