I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
