I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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