Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
