hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
