I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
sex in a hospital.. check
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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