She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
