Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
now i know why i became what i already was.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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