She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
