we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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