we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
