If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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