I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
