my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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