Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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