I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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