Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
