Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
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All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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