these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
