I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
