White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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