I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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