Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
